Trust

Tave was sitting with me today in our dining room. He wanted to see the tv, though, so he kept leaning farther and farther back to see around the divider. I had my hands behind his back, holding him up so he wouldn't fall, and he just hung out there for a while as he caught a glimpse of his show.
I caught a glimpse of something else: trust.
He trusted me completely. He knew that I would hold on to him and would not let him fall. A feeling of love and appreciation ran through me...it felt so good to know that my little boy trusted his mom. No doubts or fears, he knew that I was there.

Does my Heavenly Father feel that way with me? Am I trusting him and leaning on him to make sure I don't fall?

This little moment with Tave reminded me of an experience I had with my Heavenly Father recently.
We have been trying to sell our home and have been so frustrated that nothing was happening. We have been praying and praying that the right thing would happen, at the right time. We had felt so good about putting the house on the market that that must mean we were supposed to sell. But nothing. Then more of nothing. And more of nothing. I started getting angry. We are living in limbo, hoping to sell, getting excited any time a potential buyer comes to look. Cleaning, organizing, you know the drill. And it just wasn't happening. I felt like Heavenly Father just wasn't listening and we must not be doing something right. But I didn't know what.

And then something did happen. We had just gotten back from our trip to CA and I had misplaced a large amount of cash. I had looked and looked and looked everywhere I could think it might be and even places there is no way it would have been. I was starting to get frantic. I had casually mentioned to Jeff that it was missing one day but kind of blown it off saying I put it somewhere safe and couldn't remember where that was (oh the joys of pregnancy) and I'm sure I'll find it soon. But I could.not.find.it. Who really likes to admit they lost a lot of money to their spouse?? After about 2 weeks of searching I had to let him know that it really was gone.
His response was to ask if I had prayed about it. "Well, kind of." was my answer. I had been having that silent plea/prayer in my heart that goes something like this: "Heavenly Father please please please help me FIND THIS MONEY!" But I hadn't acutally knelt down and discussed my problem with my Father.
So we did. Right then. And it felt so good.
Afterwards, I knew I needed to keep looking for a few minutes while I tried to let the spirit direct me. (because it's pretty lame to go to bed right after asking for something...like you expect not to get an answer so you don't even listen....this is a problem I've had)
I immediately opened my nightstand drawer, picked up a make-up case that I had not looked in --because who puts money in a make-up case-- and voila, the money was THERE! (That is when I remembered I had put it in there to keep it safe, because no one would think to look for money in a make-up case...haha, including me.)
I was overwhelmed with gratitude and a love for my Heavenly Father. We knelt down again to tell our Him just that.

This 'something that happened' taught me that my Father does know me. He does hear my prayers. And if he's going to answer a simple, small prayer over a sum of money that is not that significant in the grand scheme of things, then he will answer my prayers in the big things. The big things like direction in life, selling a home, having more children, etc. And it's not up to me to decide when something happens, just to trust that it will. That is what I was not doing right.

As Tave continued to lean back in my arms I remembered this experience. I remembered that I, too, have a Father who loves me and doesn't want me to fall. And from now on, I am going to trust Him.