Whole

When I was little I couldn't understand how my mom and dad could love all of us equally. More kiddos would come into our family and it seemed like (at first) that my parents just couldn't love me as much if there was someone else to love more.

Silly, I know. But it was real to me and didn't seem to make sense.

I learned over the years that they did love me and they loved my siblings, too. And there is room enough in everyone's heart to love more and more.



But it wasn't until I became a parent that I really understood what happens in a heart. That incredible way your heart just expands and loves where it never has before. With each new person, new life, new love, my heart has grown in a way it could not have done without that person to fill it.

And bit by bit, that loving is helping my heart to become whole.

Becoming a mother

The past couple of months I have been observing. Learning. Becoming.

I want to be a better mom. I want to be the BEST mom for my kids. The best version of me that I can.
And so I see:

I see the sweet way other mother's interact. Their kind words and softly spoken reprimands.
I see the patience and love they give even when they are frustrated.
I see them wake up before everyone else so they can get a headstart on the day.
I see them change diets to keep their children healthier.
I see them fix meals that will make their children stronger.
I see them give up something now for something that will be better later.
I see them give and give and give with a happiness in their heart because they are being a Mom.

I see and learn from the amazing women I am blessed to have in my life and maybe, hopefully, I can take the best of what I see and use that to become the best mom for my boys.

Thank you for your examples.

Mother's Day Thoughts

Sometimes, right in the middle of a crazy, busy day I take a breath and realize I am a mom. I am living my dreams right now and reveling in the ooey gooey sticky messes of motherhood. It isn't exactly how I thought it would be because I am not the perfect mother I planned on. But my boys allow me to make mistakes, to learn, and to grow. They give me kisses, they ask me to sing songs, and they want me to play with them constantly. These little blessings that I prayed for, wished for, and spent 9 months excitedly awaiting their arrival are here. And I don't want to miss one minute of their adoring love and devotion.

Just the other morning Tave was in his crib crying (actually screaming) for me. But I was tired and had decided I was over his month long obsession with all things mom. So I asked Jeff to go get him in what could not be described as a nice voice. Jeff, (who is the perfect husband) went and got him but not without leaving me with something to think about. He said "You should just appreciate how much he loves you."

Whether I like it or not, my boys are going to grow up. And they will not always want my hugs, my kisses, a snuggle in my lap, and one of mom's crazy songs. So I will give them everything I can right now and appreciate every bit of love I get back. (even if it comes too early in the morning)
I am blessed to be a mom and I love it.

A Happy Happy Mother's Day to:

My own wonderful Mother- who taught me how to love by first loving me.

My amazing Mother in Law - who loved my husband and helped him become the man I fall in love with over and over again.

Every inspiring mother in my life. I want to be like you.