Today's to-do list

Wake up. Play with the boys.
Eat. Play with the boys.
Clean the house. Play with the boys.
Wake up Mckenon. Watch Mckenon play with the boys.
All of us go for a jog. Then play with the boys at the park.
Eat lunch. Play some more.
The boys go down for a nap. Whew...now the real work begins.
Get everything done that I haven't done yet. Talk to Mckenon.
Boys wake up. Play play play.
Dad comes home. Play play play.
Run some errands.
Dinner with Shar, Trav, Kapria, & Mckenon.
Play with the kiddos. Laugh with the kiddos.
Bath the kiddos.
Kiddos go to bed.

Hanging out with Mckenon was so much fun. He is laid back, easy to talk to, easy to be around, and he loves to play with Weston. Weston absolutely adores him. They run and play and laugh and have so much fun. I am grateful Mckenon wanted to come see us before he takes off on his mission. It's so fun to see my little brother (who is the baby and 9 years younger than me) being such an awesome uncle to my kiddos.
We love you, bud.

Happy dance

I was on the dance team in high school.
I wasn't great...not even close. But I had so much fun and I loved it.

Now my dancing consists of:
cranking up some fun upbeat music
holding 1 or both kiddos and then
doing the happy dance around the house together.

You should try it sometime.
But be forwarned-

The happy dance has some side effects:

Instant happiness will always occur, extreme amounts of laughter are very likely, and an overall air of giddiness and joy will permeate your home. Little kiddos will most likely be requesting the happy dance frequently, if not daily. In case of overdose - flop into the lovesack and take a break until daddy gets home. But most often an overdose is not possible.

Enjoy!

"Smile, be happy, & enjoy life"

-Mom (D)

My in-laws came to stay at our home this past week. They were here for James' graduation and we were lucky enough to get them at our house.

I was not nervous. I was not expecting the 'white glove'. I was not dreading the entire weekend like the in-law horror stories tell you.

I was thrilled to get some quality time with my other Mom and Dad. I was excited to see Weston and Tave play with Grandma & Grandpa. And I was comforted by their love, attention, and words of advice. An overwhelming feeling of love is what I am always left with at the end of their visits. I really have the best in-laws.

Jeff and I were talking today about the visit and how wonderful it was. We both brought up the walk/jogs we were able to go on during the 5 days Mom & Dad were here.

On Saturday morning we loaded up the jogging stroller, the kiddos, and all 4 adults and headed to the jogging trail in our city. The morning was crisp and refreshing and threatening rain. We were determined to 'beat the rain.' Weston thought that sounded really funny. Jeff pushed the boys and we all set off at a brisk pace. Soon we were paired off - Dad & Jeff and Mom & I.

We talked and jogged and walked and talked. We listened and learned laughed and enjoyed.

At the end of our workout the heavens let loose and poured. As Mom, Dad, & I ran for cover while we waited for Jeff (he had stopped at the playground with the kiddos while we continued sweating) I thought how fitting it was. This workout had cleansed me- inside and out. I felt a deep gratitude to a Heavenly Father who gives us people who listen and understand, who talk us through the difficult times and who accept us and love us.

It was my favorite part of the trip.

Still thinking...

I'm supposed to be showering and cleaning and getting the house ready for my in-laws to come spend the night.
But I didn't do those things. (okay well really the house is clean and ready, but I am not showerd, yuk!)
Instead I looked at blogs, left some comments, and found a new blog to read.
(as if I needed another blog to read)
But I think I did. Need to read it that is.
I was uplifted, inspired, comforted, and I laughed out loud.
Who couldn't use that at the end of the day.

And now. I really don't have a lot to say. I have a million thoughts running through my head and not a single thing will move from my head to my fingertips.
Sometimes it feels good to just think and think and think.

So good night. I'm so excited to see my in-laws!

Growing old

Tonight I had the opportunity to visit with a couple in our ward.
As I sat on their cozy couch, listening to their story, I was deeply impressed.

They had each lost a spouse and had children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren of their own.
They met while they were both married and deeply in love with their respective spouses.
Her husband passed away. And later, his wife passed away.

About a year later he came knocking on her door to see if he could mow her lawn. And not long after that they were married. (We were given more wonderful details, but I'm not writing their book...yet)

They have been married for 4 years. She is spunky and funny and sweet. He is quiet, and dignified, and kind. They look at each other with the kind of eyes that I dream Jeff and I will have after years and years of marriage.
They have a special bond. One I can only imagine is strengthened by their shared losses and renewed faith and hope in life and love.

He is dying of cancer.

I have heard him bear his testimony before. During a sacrament meeting filled with two little boys who kept me so busy I seldom heard the speakers-- but his testimony stood out. It was simple. It was positive. It was powerful. It brought me to tears.

And then tonight I was able to sit with him and his wife and feel of their love for each other and for their Savior. They laughed, they smiled, they shared their lives with us.

They showed me what it means to grow old.

And I hope that with each year I have on this earth I will grow. Grow in service, in kindness, in faith, in hope, and in love.

I am in awe. Truly.

Road Trip

We got back last night from our road trip to Arizona.

As we were driving along the highway, watching mile marker after mile marker fly by, I couldn't help but remember the road trips I had been on with my family.

Laws about seatbelts weren't as strict, which meant that we all vied for the covetous floor spot. It was right next to the sliding door in our van- decked out with cozy blankets and books.
It's amazing that we are all still alive!
I remember the tubs of licorice and cartons of goldfish that filled those trips. I swear that is the only thing we ate for the entire vacation.
Silly songs and the ABC license game filled our time. No gameboys, dvd players, or ipods.
They are sweet memories.
(Now that I am a mom I realize that my parents version of those trips are probably not the same!)

This trip was quite different from the memories of my past.
A two year old and 11 month old aren't quite as thrilled to be strapped into carseats and stuck in a car for 12 hours.
But you know what - they really did great. Surprisingly great.
I hope that they will look back on these roadtrips - complete with mom and dad singing crazy songs, reading stories, sitting in the backseat beside them, and yes: succombing to the power of the dvd player - and remember the family togetherness and sweetness of it all.

I learned that Weston loves company. He also loves sitting in the backseat.
He has a fantastic imagination, at one point entertaining himself for 30 minutes with just his blanket. So funny!!! A quick break to let West run around outside and he is set for another few hours.
He is a fabulous road-tripper.
I learned that Tave is a trooper. Amidst throwing up, diaper blowouts, and hours and hours of carseat, he can still pull out a smile.
I learned that my husband really is the most wonderfully patient man. And helpful, and a great diaper changer, and a fabulous back-seat entertainer. I love him more than ever.

It was definitely crazy, but also oh-so-wonderful.

Hair

I love getting a haircut.
An entire hour (or more if I get color) of sitting and chatting away.
No interruptions. Nothing to do but sit back and relax.
And when I'm done my hair is beautifully styled (in a way I can never replicate.. but I do try)
It feels so refreshing and wonderful.

I always walk away with a bounce in my step.

Words

When I was little girl there was a phrase that was often used at school...as I'm sure many of you have heard: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me."
I don't know where this phrase originated or how it was passed down through generations. I am sure it was given to a child to help them in a trying time, to know that no matter what people say about you, you will be okay.
But I want to teach my children differently. I want them to know that words do hurt. And that their words can have a profound and lasting impact on others. For good or ill.

To teach them this, I must first begin with myself. I don't think most people intend to say mean things or be rude or gossip or complain. Life can be hard and sometimes things just come out.

And I, well, I am definitely not exempt. I have much to work on.
Today was one of those days when I complained and whined and I didn't talk very nicely. Afterwards I felt horrible.
I say "Oh I just have to get this off my chest" but I think that's an excuse. Because when all is said and done, venting doesn't really feel very good.

And so I am turning to Elder Holland's talk The Tongue of Angels.
Have you read it lately?
I love how he states so simply and directly how we should be speaking. He chastises us yet demonstrates the tone of love and kindness that should be used in our own conversations. He fills us with hope - hope in ourselves to do and be better and hope in our Savior, who can make more of us than we can of ourselves.

Here is one of my favorite parts of his talk:

"Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail."

I know that our words have the power to hurt or to heal, to build or to break, to lift and to love.
I am determined to think before I speak. To focus on not just the words I am saying to my family, my friends, my children, and even myself, but to also focus on how I am saying them.

I hope someday it can be said of me that I speak with the tongue of Angels.

I am willing to serve wherever, whenever, and however our Heavenly Father needs me.
I just needed to write it down so I can read this from time to time.

Shar & I were talking today about Conference. We both felt like this session of conference focused a lot on the individual. On strengthening ourselves for what lies ahead. Becoming who the Lord needs us to be so He can use us to help others.
I have been in a rut. Kind of stuck in that space between progression and falling behind. Heavenly Father is giving me a push and I am determined not to fail Him.
It just feels good to have it in writing.

Conference Weekend

I love General Conference.
I love getting inspired counsel, feeling the Spirit, and being uplifted.
I love hearing Weston talk about the Prophet. I love building fun and spiritual traditions that he will remember.
I love getting together with family, eating monkey bread, and relaxing all weekend long.

It was a wonderful. I have much to ponder. I am determined to study these talks over the next 6 months and to become better.

2 hours

Today is Friday. We love Fridays:
We get to wake up early and drive to Shar & Trav's house.
We get to eat all of the yummy cereal that Shar stocks her kitchen with. They always have the BEST kinds.
We get to play with Miss K and all of her FUN girly toys.
We get to be silly and have screaming matches during lunch. Tave is always the winner, then Kapria. West does great, but can't beat that high pitched Taveness.
I, all by my lonesome, get to change 3 sets of poopy diapers. For some reason, they ALL seem to poop more on Friday. gross, but true. Good thing I love these little stinkers.
We get to run around the house, make a HUGE gigantic mess dumping out all of Miss K's bins, and then sing the clean up song while we clean it all up. Surprisingly, they are all really good helpers!

By this point we are all completely exhausted. Myself included. Which means: naptime.

If I am lucky, all three of these little rugrats take a 2 hour nap. I always try to time it so their afternoon nap is at the same time. In theory, I would get these 2 hours to rest and work on my own projects....
However, out of the past 2 months worth of Friday/Tuesday Kapria days I am sure you can guess how many times this has actually happened.

Never. Yup. If you guessed never than you are correct.
Until today.
2 entire hours of quiet, uninterrupted bliss. I crocheted. And boy do I have some cuteness to show you.

I sure love these kiddos. And I absolutely, positively LOVE my time with them. But I really really do LOOOOVE time to myself as well!
Thanks cute kids!!

Do - re - mi

I have been singing songs to the kiddos lately. And we've been playing the radio every time we get in the car.
Weston requests music the minute he's buckled in and then Tave bounces along. It's amazing to me how little ones recognize and respond to music.

I love music. I love how it opens your heart and soothes the soul. I love how it can change the mood, brighten the day, and bring a smile to my lips.
It truly is one of our greatest blessings on this earth.
Whether it's lullabies at nighttime or dance music in the middle of the day - music is essential in our home.

I hope it is in your home too!

It's a Hate/Love thing...

Hate: that we had to spend a lot of money and time on a new water heater
Love: that we have a new water heater sans the sound of falling rocks

Hate: that I have to find a brown dress for my bro's wedding in the spring
Love: that my bro is getting married and I get to be there!!

Hate: the freezing cold temperatures and snow that keeps falling
Love: that spring is just around the corner and I can feel it.

Hate: the messy state of my home at the moment
Love: all of the play time I have been spending with the boys

Hate: that Tave is no longer nursing (for the past 11 days) or drinking formula or milk
Love: that he is sleeping through the night finally now that he doesn't wake up to nurse

Hate: how much Jeff is gone due to full-time school
Love: how hard he is working, the pay-raise we'll get when he's done, and all that we are learning about sacrifice

Hate: that James & Amy are moving away with my darling little niece in one month
Love: how close we've gotten over the last few months and how much fun we'll have when we visit them

Hate: how confusing and scary and crazy things are with our government
Love: that no matter what, we still live in the Lord's blessed land. I love this country.

Hate: that I still haven't gotten my hats listed on etsy
Love: that I just need a few more days for picture taking and then they will be up!!! Yay!!!

Hate: that there are only 24 hours in a day and we are required to sleep 1/3 of them.
Love: every single minute I get to be here with my family!!

Hate: that I am putting these in Hate/Love order instead of vice-versa. Love/Hate is just how it's supposed to go.
Love: that I am ending on a positive note and finding the silver lining!