Yesterday:

Weston leaned over to me and said:
"Mommy, I love Tave."
And that was that.
My breath caught and my heart melted with those 4 little words.



Weston has been using more and more sentences. He says things like "I like ___",
"I need____", "I want____".
And he has repeated "I love you" for quite a few months. But he has not said it. Not on his own.
Until yesterday. It was a sweet day.

With those few words I fell in love with my baby all over again. Because even though he is already 2 1/2 and I have another baby, he is still my baby.

It is the oddest feeling: to encourage, coax, teach, and exult in the daily triumphs of your children as they grow. To watch them explore and learn and become more each and every day. To thrill at every milestone that is met.
And yet, to not want to lose who they are today.
My heart aches to hold them like this forever, but also, to see who they will become in the days, months, and years ahead.
Motherhood is a contradiction.

And there is nothing we can do about it.

On becoming...

I have approximately 20 minutes before my mommy duties kick in.
I thought I would take a little break and hear the soothing sound of the clickety-clack of keys on the keyboard.
Why is that such a fun sound?
I'm weird, I know.

Moving on.

I have been pondering who I am lately. Who I am and who I am becoming.

Jeff teaches Gospel Doctrine at church. He is a fabulous teacher, if I do say so myself.
And I do.
I love watching my husband get excited over Gospel principles. I love seeing his face light up as he finds a connection or hears someone's thoughts that fit perfectly into the lesson. I love having a husband who seeks out the spiritual and tries to apply that in our lives.
(Hmmm... at this moment I am feeling quite small beside him. He would say that's not so, but I know the truth.)

Which brings me back to the point...

One such lesson, Jeff shared a quote that I absolutely loved and needed.

"Nobody becomes perfect in this life...Becoming perfect in Christ is a process.
If we chart a course of becoming perfect, and, step by step and phase by phase, are perfecting our souls by overcoming the world, then it is absolutely guaranteed...we shall gain eternal life...If we chart a course and follow it to the best of our ability in this life, then when we go out of this life we'll continue in exactly that same course." --Bruce R. McConkie, "Jesus Christ and Him Crucified," 1976 Devotional Speeches of the Year [1977], 399–401.

Wow. Isn't that amazing. Isn't it wonderful to know that we do not need to be perfect in this life. We just need to be on that course.

So the question I have been asking myself and pondering of late is this:
If I were to continue on the course I am on right now, would I make it to the Celestial Kingdom? Or would I just miss it by a hair,
but miss it nonetheless?

I have some rethinking and restructuring to do.
Some readjusting of priorities.
Some renewing of my covenants.
I know that.

But I am so grateful that I don't have to be perfect.

Because I look around at all of the amazing women around me and I sometimes get overwhelmed.
I wonder: How in the world do they do all of these things and make it look so easy?

Isn't it great, though, that we have those examples.
So many people to look to, lean on, learn with, and love.
I know that I am the person I am today because of each person with whom I have rubbed shoulders.
And I also know that I am becoming better as a result.

I love that part of my becoming is just getting to the path.
And then doing my darndest to stay there.
I will reach my potential-- perfection, after this life.
And that is okay.
I just need a reminder every once in awhile.

Maybe you do too.

This is me with one of the MANY women who inspire me.