So I heard something today that made me stop and think. A lot.
And it is this: Shouting/yelling is the new spanking
I get it. And I think I do it.
I haven't meant to. These precious little people in my home are my life. They are THE most important part of me. I love them more than I ever ever thought possible.
So why do I end up being crazy-yelling mom way more often than crazy-fun mom?
When did that happen?
I read two different articles tonight that brought me to this realization.
And I want to change.
This first article is awesome. She explains the things that she is doing to try to be better. And I love that. I love that I am not alone. I think I fill my life with so many things that 'have to get done' that I forget to relax and just ENJOY my kids. And then crazy-yelling mom comes out because I am so stressed with getting everything else finished and my kids are preventing those things from happening when or how I think they should. When in reality, three little boys are the most important part of my agenda.
The next article reminded me that how we act is a choice. The way my home feels is important to me. I want it to be somewhere our family feels is safe. Somewhere we all feel valued, loved, appreciated, cared, for, safe and secure. The place we can come to where we will be understood and listened to.
We have been having serious issues with listening and obeying in our home. I have been SO. FRUSTRATED. I really don't know how to emphasize that anymore. Some days I want to go scream in my room, pull out my hair, and stamp my foot on the floor. Or better yet, throw my own tantrum. Which is what yelling is. My own tantrum.
I realized tonight that this 'listening & obeying' issue is probably a result of my lack of communication skills. (aka: yelling) It may not be entirely my fault (vacations, lack of sleep, lack of schedule, house remodel, and lots of visitors have most likely also been a factor) but I am definitely not helping to make it any better.
So tonight I am:
Setting a goal
Finding my triggers
Coming up with a positive first response
And praying that I can be a better mom
This whole motherhood thing is so much more than I ever thought it would be. More tears, more smiles, more frustrations, more joys, more trials, more hope, more change, more failure, more love. Definitely more love. I hope that no matter how good or bad I may be...they always always feel how much I love them.
(READ THE FIRST ARTICLE...she describes things so well and has GREAT ideas for how to be better and change)
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2 comments:
Nicole, you are so awesome. :) What a good example of recognizing a shortcoming and desiring to be better- and then doing it! Way to go!
I don't know if you've heard about it, but if not, check out Parenting With Love and Logic. It is super awesome, and takes the yelling out of parenting. It also helps teach the kids accountability. I love it. And Rees puts on free classes several times a year.
Nicole-it was like you were reading my mind! I have been feeling the exact way lately! I am tired of yelling at my kids all day and telling them to stop being grumpy when I am the one that is so grumpy! I will have to read those articles. Things have been a little stressful with trying to move but I decided to focus on them today and it makes a world of difference! I know I cant do it everyday but its nice to have my happy kids back sometimes! You are awesome and we still need to get together!
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