Words

When I was little girl there was a phrase that was often used at school...as I'm sure many of you have heard: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me."
I don't know where this phrase originated or how it was passed down through generations. I am sure it was given to a child to help them in a trying time, to know that no matter what people say about you, you will be okay.
But I want to teach my children differently. I want them to know that words do hurt. And that their words can have a profound and lasting impact on others. For good or ill.

To teach them this, I must first begin with myself. I don't think most people intend to say mean things or be rude or gossip or complain. Life can be hard and sometimes things just come out.

And I, well, I am definitely not exempt. I have much to work on.
Today was one of those days when I complained and whined and I didn't talk very nicely. Afterwards I felt horrible.
I say "Oh I just have to get this off my chest" but I think that's an excuse. Because when all is said and done, venting doesn't really feel very good.

And so I am turning to Elder Holland's talk The Tongue of Angels.
Have you read it lately?
I love how he states so simply and directly how we should be speaking. He chastises us yet demonstrates the tone of love and kindness that should be used in our own conversations. He fills us with hope - hope in ourselves to do and be better and hope in our Savior, who can make more of us than we can of ourselves.

Here is one of my favorite parts of his talk:

"Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail."

I know that our words have the power to hurt or to heal, to build or to break, to lift and to love.
I am determined to think before I speak. To focus on not just the words I am saying to my family, my friends, my children, and even myself, but to also focus on how I am saying them.

I hope someday it can be said of me that I speak with the tongue of Angels.